19 things I learned from my first marathon

At mile 23 I began to loudly curse the wheat. My objection to the endless rows came out in a strangled stream of "Fuck!" directed at the nodding heads of ripening grain. No reason for it. I was exhausted and directed my ire at the nearest living things which weren't also running a marathon.

Which takes me to the first lesson

• Lesson one: a marathon is harder than two half marathons. 

They don't scale. This was considerably more difficult than the idea of (somehow) doing two back-to-back halfs. By mile fourteen I was in serious pain and muscle spasming.  It became a matter of conscious will much more than I'd expected.   Suffering is progressive and the race isn't easy.

• Lesson two: Gu and energy gels are meant for this and wasted on lesser distances. 

On halfs I've taken Gus and energy gels as little boosts. While there is some subjective truth to this the reality is that they were completely unnecessary. True  glycogen depletion was something I'd never experienced and the impact of quickly absorbed glucose was profound. The "bonk" or "The Wall" are real things related to the body's available energy stores being depleted. I'd thought I've felt it before but it wasn't until this race that I really "got it" and, subsequently, really understood the restorative effect of having quick glucose energy. The effect of them on a half is not even in the same ballpark as when they're legitimately needed. I had one at mile 13 and one at mile 20 and, in both cases, the difference they made was instantly noticeable and significant.  

• Lesson three: those final miles are brutal  

No other words for them. Past mile 20 things are a bitch.  In shorter distances I'd thought I had a real sense of "mind over matter," in the final 6 miles I really understood what that means.  The physical and mental exhaustion are profound and debilitating.  The human body is capable of amazing feats of effort and endurance but our mental blocks, sense of self-preservation, and pain all conspire to prevent this.  

• Lesson four: do your homework 

This race was held on Sauvie Island, a delightful little farming and birding community Northwest of Portland.  Had I done a little homework I would've noticed that one of the things being farmed is hay.  If you have hay fever... well this run would certainly have been less mucous filled had I done the research.

• Lesson five: stick with the plan

My intention prior to this race was to use the Jeff Galloway walk/run method in which, after every mile, I would walk for 60 seconds.  This has been shown to result in (counterintuitively) faster finishing times with less injuries.  I ignored my plan because I was feeling pretty good for the first half.  It wasn't until mile 18 that I started the Galloway method.  The next marathon I run I'll attempt to do this the entire time.

• Leason six: completing a half marathon is mostly mental- a full marathon requires a baseline level of fitness

I really believe that anyone without a debilitating injury should be able to finish a half marathon through force of will.  Injuries will occur but it can be completed.   On a full marathon I experienced enough physical depletion and physical discomfort that, if I hadn't done my training, no amount of will would have enabled me to finish.  My body would've simply been incapable.

• Lesson seven: Focus on completion, not arbitrary benchmarks. 

Who has two index fingers and is faster than me?

 Damn you Oprah. Your 4:29 was a goad in my side. When I was in the first half I was clipping along and had a predicted finish time of 4:15. When I hit that post-mile-18-wall the story changed. I was less than a minute away from Oprahing and damned if if doesn't chap my ass I didn't make it. Still the most important element was that I finished.  Plus there are plenty of other celebrities I was faster than.  Still, it's not quite as impressive to say I beat Kimmy Gibler's time .  Despite this the most important element was that I finished.   There will always be someone faster than me.  That's a fact.  So it's important to strive towards a goal but one should never denigrate one's accomplishment by comparison.

• Lesson eight: The right gear is crucial

 Seems obvious right? But having all my gear be tried and true was a definite advantage. I wore Anker wireless soundlite headphones, my long sleeved shirt from the Hot Buttered Run in 2016,  Champion Doudry shorts, Hoka One One Clifton 3s and Darn Tough running socks.  Every element had been tested prior and found to be excellent.  I used Nipeaze for my nips and a hat for the sun.  Not having to hoist my shorts and worry about falling socks or my headphones running out of power was a real benefit.  It let me focus on the act of running and the need to finish, not distracted by substandard gear.

• Lesson nine: music can make a difference

 I had just watched "Baby Driver" the day prior to the race.  My half marathon Spotify playlist has been with me since my first half marathon in November, 2016 and the seven subsequent halfs as well.  These songs are tried and true but, boy howdy, I've surely heard them all before.  Adding some new unfamiliar songs from the "Baby Driver" soundtrack that had newfound emotional resonance?  Crucial boost at key moments.   A new song with a quick tempo made a world of difference.  Thanks Edgar Wright.

• Lesson ten: you will be passed by wiry leathered seniors; be inspired by them, not threatened or diminished

They've worked hard. Aspire to be like them. The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago and the second best is today. You're on the path. Yes, it can be brutally demoralizing to be digging deep in the final miles and watching yourself get effortlessly passed by some melanoma riddled jerky-esque septuagenarian with a "marathon maniac" t-shirt but it shouldn't be.  They're aspirational.  Just keep telling yourself that so the shame doesn't cause you to collapse in on yourself like a dwarf star.

• Lesson 11: There is a profound difference between being hungry and actually having the body be in distress due to lack of food. 

The body is capable of so much.  Many of us will never know what it is fully capable of because our bodies don't want to be pushed that hard.   I've been hungry before, used phrases like "I'm starving," but this race taught me a lesson about wanting food versus needing food.   This goes back to the earlier lesson about Gu.  Experiencing your bodily reserves being genuinely depleted is a sensation quite distinct from hunger.  It's an actual need.  Eating quickly absorbed glucose (the post-race strawberry shortcake) and experiencing my body blooming like a water-neglected flower after a rain shower was something that has taught me quite a bit about food and the need for it.

• Lesson 12: Being a "Marathoner" is immensely more satisfying than "Half-Marathoner"

Seems pretty obvious but it's for real.  There is something quite diminutive about calling a run a "half."  It implies, with it's very nomenclature, that it's half as much an accomplishment as a full.  I've found most people don't actually have any idea how long either race really is.  They just hear "half." I've watched people's eyes widen when they hear that a "half" is 13+ miles.  People just don't know.  Say what you want about the arbitrary nature of the marathon distance but the mystique is absolutely undeniable.

No one's fun run death has been immortalized like Pheddipides

• Lesson 13: we don't remember pain

This is something I've heard about women giving birth: that if the memory of the agony was retained no one would ever have a second child. This is something I'll cosign in regards to the marathon.  I was in physical agony during those final miles, wanting only to finish.  I was drained, depleted and exhausted afterwards.  My foot fascia were fusing together, my quads were cramped and my glutes a spasming. I had done what I had accomplished and had no need, or desire, to ever run another marathon.   By the next day I was ready to sign up for my first 50K.  We don't remember the pain, just the accomplishment.

• Lesson 14: people get addicted.

I met a woman at this race whose feet were shredded.  She had massive blisters and black toenails and generally beat up feet.  She was soaking her savaged toes in the communal kiddie pool with me and started telling me this was her fourth marathon in as many days.  There are legitimate marathon fanatics out there, people whose desire to run literally results in severe injuries who simply can't stop themselves.  Beware.

• Lesson 15: Don't fear the toilet

This is something I learned during my halfs but there is no reason not to use the porta-potty.  If you're on track to a PR, a BQ or a record you obviously shouldn't stop but if you're on your own grind?   Use that toilet and enjoy it.

• Lesson 16: Recovery scales

I was barely able to walk for a week after my first half marathon.  My feet were so cramped, my muscles so sore, my blisters severe.  Now, eight months of training and races later, I was able to be running again just two days after my marathon.  Recovery is a muscle that must be worked and the results of this working are significant.

• Lesson 17: Train you fucker, train.

This is really crucial.   Unless you are an accomplished athlete in another field or in exceptional physical condition there's nothing more important than putting in the training time.  You risk injury and pain by not doing this.   Put in those miles.

• Lesson 18: Hydrate 

In training runs I would regularly go over 13 miles without water.  This isn't possible during a marathon.  Getting a hydration deficit in the early miles will get you in the end.

• Lesson 19: Mindset, Mindset, Mindset

I could never run a marathon.  This is something I've known bone deep since I was a fat little teen.  Impossible right? "Mindset" as a psychological phenomenon has become cliche; despite this it is still a valuable approach to understanding our mental framework that allows us to either thrive or stagnate.   The human body is capable of accomplishments that our conscious mind cannot conceive.  The classic example is that of the "chained circus elephant."  When the (metaphorical) elephant is an infant it is chained day and night to a pillar stuck in concrete.  No matter how hard the elephant strains it cannot move its post.  Now, when the elephant is older, it does not strain.  A peg hammered into the ground that could be moved by a dog will be sufficient to hold the elephant.  It knows that it cannot move the post and so it does not try.  So many of our limitations are derived from the stories we tell ourselves to make sense of the world.  Knowing you cannot accomplish something means you can't, despite it being fully in your power.  Two years ago I would have told you I'd be incapable of ever running a 10K let alone a marathon.  My mindset was fixed.  I believed that my capabilities were limited and finite, that self-improvement was impossible.  Accomplishing a task that I had considered "impossible" is transformative.  A dynamic mindset is a lever that can move the world.  I know of no better way to prove to oneself your capacity for change than by accomplishing a physical goal that you believed to be "impossible."