Heartbreaker Half: Race Report + Recap + Review

Heartbreaker Half was one of my very favorite races I've ran this year. It was definitely on the quaint side but what a nice comparison to the whole megarace vibe like the Shamrock. The course was hilly, the medal was meager but the total effect of the race in whole was of a charming delight in support of charity and suffused with positive energy.

It was located in... I want to say Hillsboro? Out yonder in the western boonies off of 26 in a farming community characterized by rolling hills, lush greenery and the difference of scale and grandeur between the residences. It seemed like a hardscrabble rural community confronting rich newcomers with 8,000 sq foot homes who only want to farm protected viewscapes. But that's neither here nor there. It was very pretty.

The starting area was Liberty High School which was a real John Hughesian place. It felt like real Americana. Tons of signs promoting extracurricular, clean and expansive facilitiess and a big banner with the college admission or post-graduate plans of every graduating senior. It just had a real nice energy to it.

Course itself was quite attractive. Two loops of a road track featuring rolling farmland, great old trees, a variety of houses and farms and a real cool old pioneer cemetery.The loops were extended out for an additional mile through the addition of “Heartbreaker Hill,” a separately timed uphill climb around mile 4.

The grade was not overly challenging but I certainly could feel it. It was on the way to rejoin the road for a second loop that we passed what was far and away the coolest part of the course. There was a huge old wooden rail trestle; completely out-of-place and incredibly alien to the landscape. It dominated the horizon, looking like the wall the natives of Skull Island erect to keep out Kong

I would google this trestle (aka the Dick Road trestle which, hey don’t laugh...) later and found out that it is the site of numerous urban legends and ghost stories. I did not witness any phantom hanging specters myself but I did get a real kick out of seeing this fantastic piece of vintage America. Later I’d find out that the trestle is, incredibly, still in use as a train crossing. This is something I’d love to see.

By the end of the race we had all substantially spread out and there was no one in front or behind me except for a young woman with the same pace. We had a greatly competitive final mile that added a frisson of challenge before crossing the finish line together.

After the race I was extremely heartened to receive an email from the organizing charitable body describing some of the inspirational stories of some of the people who raced. These people included former drug addicts and homeless runaways being united with their families for the first time in years. I have felt the transformative power that comes with recognizing ones ability to transcend your own beliefs about your body. Completing something you never believed you’d be able to has real carry-over benefits for the rest of your life. It’s one of the ways in which improvement through hard work in any field can really help instill a dynamic and transformative mindset.


This was an excellent race by any rubric. It supported positive charities, its organizers ensured an inclusive race experience and the course was just gorgeous. I’m very excited for next year

Race Report: Timberline Half Marathon

I write this sore and pained. Quads, glutes, a nasty hangnail. Yet I am happy. This was my first trail race and it was a real challenge but I feel rewarded and ready for another go next year now that I know what to expect. What an awesome and challenging race! I definitely misjudged quite a few elements of the race which did give me a couple hiccups but that was all on me. Excellent course; excellent organizers, excellent race!

Timberline Half

Up before dawn and a darkened city greets me. It's fleet week in Portland and I can see the lights of the coast guard patrol ships cruising the channel. It's bracing and crisp outside and the sky seems clear. I nuke my bowl of quinoa flakes with frozen fruit and rhodiola powder. This is going to be my very first trail race and I'm excited to do it but not looking forward to the drive.

Out on highway 26 things were looking grim. It was raining a bit and the fog had a bite to it.

By the time I got there things had cleared up. Parking was on the side of the road and the participants seemed modest in number and enthusiastic. It was much colder than I anticipated. I didn't really grasp that Timothy Lake was 3200 feet higher than Portland. So I was chilly and so were others. The people who brought a daybag were the smart ones.

god bless our second amendment right to shoot signs in the forest

The pre-race packet pickup was professional and prompt. The announcer was good, the crowd milled about.

.The narrowness of the trail meant that people would be exiting singly out the starting gate. I tend to get bashful via pace carrol. I'd rather pass people than get passed. So I lined up towards the rear behind some guy rocking a shirt from a desert Ultra which made me feel like I was in reasonable company.

The first mile-and-a-half or so was a Grade A Shitshow and it's my fault for not lining up closer to the front. Some of the people who left early in the pack that were walking within half a mile deserve some blame as well. The usual jostling and ranking that occurs in the first km of a race as people find their pace was much more spread out. The terrain was steep, the earth slippery, and it took a while for everyone to sort out their space

terrain was tough

Once things had settled out it was much nicer. My eyesight is myopic AF so my race face is a mole squint. In more forested sections of the run I think I might have missed a turnoff or a root if I hadn't latched on to a guy with a solid maintainable pace of around 10:00. On a road race this would be among my slowest times but on a muddy trail with tons of puddles, 11,428 tree roots (I counted) and some unstable rocks this felt great. I was really glad I latched on to someone who didn't mind guiding me and who had a similar pace.

Paul Eton my peloton pal

The first nine miles or so were marshy and forested with just occasional glimpses of the lake. There were vast fields of skunk cabbage which filled the course with a scent reminiscent of pungent Kush.

challenging terrain, blurry photo

I have a few thoughts about the more technical portions of the race. The cognitive load of this race was much more taxing than on road races. The demands of proprioception are significantly increased on uneven and dangerous terrain. This had a subjective effect of a much more mentally demanding process. Our brains are designed to find the easy way out through the usage of mental heuristics, simple hard and fast rules that help with decision making. When they really click in it's a sort of autopilot. Consider the commute you can't even remember or the time-passing glide of a long and familiar run. Having to be much more mentally engaged on this race was an interesting sensation.

Aid stations were well staffed, there were three of them full of enthusiastic volunteers. The final distance of this race was supposed to be 14.5 miles, my Garmin read 13.7 but I'll chalk that up to satellite issues.

Here are my official results which, y'know, aren't great. Top 50% total but definitely in the lower percentile for my age/gender. Still I was pretty pleased with the results of my first trail run and I think with more assuredness on my feet I should be able to do a better pace. The pace results are based on their course measurement of 14.5 miles which explains the slightly faster pace than on my Garmin.

supremely middle of the pack

after race

After race was as well organized as everything else: lots of snacks, massage stations, cheering spectators.

I was very happy with the race. Next year I think I'll try for the full. All in all it was a fantastic experience and a very enjoyable time!

This race was a fitting swan song for my Hoka One One Clifton 2. They retired to live with their family in Sussex.

plus there's a Dairy Queen on the way back which tasted better than a tub of carageenen and corn syrup has any right to do.

the greatest DQ I ever ate

Rave Review: Taotronics Bluetooth Headphones for Running

I lose headphones. I break them. They end up in pockets of winter coats where they're undiscovered until spring. They fall out my drivers side door. I go through a ton of them.
Which is why I've really been happy with the various Taotronic brand wireless headphones I've purchased. They're cheap (can usually be found for around or under $25.00) and (thanks to China's lax enforcement of IP and copyright) are of an excellent build quality. I would not be surprised if the exact same Shenzhen factory that churns out Beats and other bespoke headphones is also pumping these things out with the night shift.
But I am not here to bitch about IP enforcement. I've come to praise Taotronics, not bury them.
For the thrifty or clumsy consumer I honestly think these are best possible wireless headphone option. I've noticed the sound quality to be universally excellent and comparable with their expensive odoppelgängers. Battery lasts long enough for the longest runs, they can hold up to the sweat and the jostling of a run, and they're just a nifty product. Again, they really are just clones of more expensive products but the lax enforcement of international copyright really pays off

these cost over $200

these cost $20

For the thrifty or clumsy consumer I honestly think these are best possible wireless headphone option.

Confessions of an Unlikely Runner

I found this book to be an absolutely charming piece of running memoir. The author has a well-developed and conversational voice that kept my interest engaged throughout. It's a nice little overview of the various categories of popular running (marathons, obstacle courses, relays) told through vignettes and anecdotes of the author's experience. This book is geared towards beginners but Dana Ayers has an appealing enough tone, and a solid well of humor and insight to engage the more experienced runner.

All too often the tone of running memoir is either faux self-deprecating ("I barely broke that 1:25 mark on the half and had to eat ALL the donuts after!") or a bit too trite ("when I crossed that finish line I was no longer that widower but a runner"). Ayers' book is a great example of how even running memoirs built around committed novices can be a great read if the author has talent.

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